• @linearchaos
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    398 months ago

    OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.

    Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party

    Me: FUUUUUUU…OK

    Day of:

    Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds

    Broke out the cast iron skillet.

    Started working out dough rounds.

    Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

    Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

    Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

    CRANKIN’ IT OUT BOSS!

    Oh shit I’m out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry

    Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!

    Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I’m wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.

    • Rob T Firefly
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      108 months ago
      • Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
      • Living space with one or more children

      Pick one.

      • Darth_Mew
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        28 months ago

        the children had nothing to do with butterfingers goof up though?

      • @linearchaos
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        58 months ago

        Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn’t hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.

    • @RalphFurley
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      58 months ago

      Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn’t release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE… ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol

      • @jaybone
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        38 months ago

        You’re supposed to make water fizzy, and then afterwards add flavor (which contains sugar.)

        I don’t think you are supposed to add it before otherwise it explodes everywhere?

        • @RalphFurley
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          28 months ago

          DrinkMate will fizzify any liquid, it’s different than the soda stream where you add their flavors. I use this for water mostly tho

      • @linearchaos
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        28 months ago

        Oh yeah, I have one of those. My failure was lemonade. They need to make one with a longer straw so you can keep the liquid further down in the carbonation bottle. Anything but water is a constant s*** show

    • @[email protected]
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      48 months ago

      When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.

      • @[email protected]
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        48 months ago

        Were you able to salvage any? Just asking if it was Hellman’s you could maybe still use some from the top.

        • @[email protected]
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          38 months ago

          It was Hellmann’s and no, it was an absolute shit show. I was cleaning mayonnaise off the ceiling

      • @linearchaos
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        38 months ago

        Heh so is the cleanup, I still find little spots of tomato sauce to this day

  • Zoidsberg
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    218 months ago

    I used to be a delivery driver for a pizzaria. One night I got a really far delivery, like half an hour each way. I guess during that time the lasagna steamed the paper delivery bag, because I picked it up by the top (stupid) and made it three steps from my car before the lasagna fell out the bottom of the bag and exploded on this dudes driveway. Very sad.

    • @Psythik
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      58 months ago

      Then what happened? Was the customer understanding? Did you have to make the drive out again to replace it? What did your boss say?

      • Zoidsberg
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        98 months ago

        The customer was very understanding. I did drive out a second lasagna. Boss was angry, but he was always angry.

    • @[email protected]
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      18 months ago

      Half an hour is a “really far” delivery? In the city I live, because of traffic, everything is about 20 minutes away, no matter the direction.

  • Hegar
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    8 months ago

    Is that troy “I sniff the seats of female parliamentarians and snap my opposition staffers’ bras” buswell?

    Edit: misremembered, turns out it was a labour staffer.

      • @Viking_Hippie
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        98 months ago

        This is as true as calling Clarence Thomas “justice”

      • @[email protected]
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        88 months ago

        As an American I love hearing about this kind of stuff because it makes me feel better about the embarrassing shitshow we’ve got going on over here. Doesn’t make the situation any better, but it’s nice to commiserate and know that everything is basically fucked everywhere else too

        • @[email protected]
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          58 months ago

          Don’t kid yourself, the rest of the world is still not quite as fucked up as the USA. But yeah lol Aussie politics is almost as dumb in a lot of ways.

      • @[email protected]
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        78 months ago

        Holy shit, that guy needs Jim Carey to yell at him. “STOP GRABBING PEOPLE’S CROTCHES, ASSHOLE”.

      • Hegar
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        18 months ago

        Yeah I saw that in the wikipedia link - I’d misremembered. Just editing my comment.

  • Flying SquidM
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    8 months ago

    That is definitely lasanyer, because no one makes lasagna with one giant sheet of pasta on the top and bottom.

    • udon
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      38 months ago

      Please don’t lasan’ya shoes!

  • @fox2263
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    108 months ago

    What were they doing with lasanyer near the wall with shoes

  • @mvirts
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    58 months ago

    My family is a lot bigger than that

    • @psud
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      48 months ago

      “Family size” is a marketing term aimed at making the large size comfortable for women to buy

      It’s not really about how it could feed a family, though it could

      • @jenny_ball
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        48 months ago

        party size chips. all for meeeee