• Dr. Coomer
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      25 days ago

      Because. Also, flamethrower aren’t considered weapons by the government, so the only states that limits you from buying one is California and Ohio and Maryland banned them.

        • Dr. Coomer
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          25 days ago

          Not a ban, a restriction. Like California, you need a permit. Sorry if I made that confusing.

          • @afraid_of_zombies
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            325 days ago

            Ok new life goal. Be that guy at the DMV with a permit for a flamethrower arguing with the civil servant that “because it is cool” is a valid reason

            • @[email protected]
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              25 days ago

              In most if not all states, if you have an AAA membership, you can do your DMV stuff at AAA offices and dodge the DMV entirely. The lines are way better.

              • @[email protected]
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                225 days ago

                In my area, the DMV is actually quite pleasant. I’ve had to go like 2-3x ever? And each time was a 15 min adventure:

                • registered my car from out of state
                • bought a car from a local private seller - I brought them with me to finalize the transfer
                • bought a car from an out of state private seller (my brother), just brought the signed title

                Or emissions checks can be submitted at the check station for $8 or filed online for free, so there’s no reason for most people to go to the DMV. In fact, most other stuff can be done online too.

                It honestly takes longer for me to get there (like 15 min drive) than to actually get my business sorted. It’s one of the better run agencies in the state.

                That said, the DOL division sucks. We don’t even require in person renewals, but the two times I had to go sucked (when I first moved here, and for my wife to get her license transferred). It’s a much smaller office with far more people waiting.

                • 🇰 🔵 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
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                  25 days ago

                  I have a DMV that’s never busy around me too, at the cost of being further out of my way (even more so now that I’ve moved even farther from it). But it’s worth being able to walk in and go right to a counter (without an appointment even!) instead of waiting 8+ fucking hours starting at 5am like the one in my actual city.

        • Dr. Coomer
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          125 days ago

          No they’re not. The ATF does not consider flamethrower a firearm and there exists no country wide law about flamethrower, and by law, even a felon can own a fully working flamethrower.

      • @captainlezbian
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        225 days ago

        Ok how the hell did Ohio limit flamethrowers? We’re the Florida of the north

          • @captainlezbian
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            124 days ago

            Didn’t expect Cleveland felt more dayton with the whole lunatic idea with military applications thing

      • @AngryCommieKender
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        225 days ago

        California allows roofers to have flamethrowers. They use them for curing something in the roofing tiles(? I don’t know the proper term for those things. They’re basically cardboard covered in tar and gravel, possibly a thin layer of asphalt?).

        It was a bit unnerving the first few times I heard the roofers doing their thing.

        • @[email protected]
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          25 days ago

          They’re called shingles, asphalt shingles being the most common in most parts of the US because they’re relatively inexpensive.

      • @mriguy
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        725 days ago

        No, the question is why not?

        • @afraid_of_zombies
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          225 days ago

          They have an app for that now. It’s like Uber but somehow even treats their “contractors” in a worse fashion. It’s called Flameaway.

        • Cosmic Cleric
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          Where’s the robot to clean up the flaming, decapitated gopher carcasses off my lawn?

          Not needed, because they get flamed while they’re in their burrows underground. So all you have to do is plug up the holes after the bot comes out and you’re done.

          Anti Commercial-AI license (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0)

  • Flying Squid
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    5525 days ago

    Well now I’m definitely going to have to save up $10,000 for a flame-throwing robot dog.

    How else am I going to protect myself from all the flame-throwing robot dogs?

    • @[email protected]
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      2825 days ago

      The only defense against a bad guy with a flame throwing robot dog, is a good guy with a flame throwing robot dog

        • @TheOgreChef
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          1125 days ago

          Believe it or not, a chaotic neutral or lawful good girl with a flame throwing robot dog. There are some nuances if you’re using Pathfinder.

    • @[email protected]
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      25 days ago

      How else am I going to protect myself from all the flame-throwing robot dogs?

      Build a tesla coil for $100.

      • Flying Squid
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        725 days ago

        What if their flame thrower range is longer than the range of my Tesla coil?

        Also, how will I get my revenge?

          • Flying Squid
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            525 days ago

            I can’t kill my neighbor who sent the flamethrower robot dog to my house with a fire extinguisher robot dog! Not without plausible deniability anyway.

            • @[email protected]
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              25 days ago

              A 5 minute thing blown up to a 50 minutes action sequence with cars drawing circles in the desert and a helicopter filming infrared and tüdelü, all in 10x repeat, is a sad new high for me.

              But of course someone tested that already.

              • @[email protected]
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                25 days ago

                Well…That’s TV shows for you.
                But even better: Between each repeat would be an ad break. :)
                At least we don’t have that (premium and/or ad blocker) on youtube…

        • @[email protected]
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          What if their flame thrower range is longer than the range of my Tesla coil?

          Put your Tesla coil on a long boom. Worked for pikemen.

        • @AngryCommieKender
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          25 days ago

          Make use of the only good usefully informative scene in Small Soldiers, and use a power transformer to create a city block radius EMP

        • @daltotron
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          11 days ago

          The nice part of that is that the fire conducts along the electricity

          Edit: this was like two weeks ago but it was the other way around I am dumb

    • @dariusj18
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      4725 days ago

      Gonna assume controlled burns in difficult terrain.

      • @[email protected]
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        2525 days ago

        Also the reason that flamethrowers aren’t illegal in most states, since being able to project flame makes controlled burns a lot easier.

      • @vegaquake
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        725 days ago

        get a nice char on them fuckers while they twitchin

        • Echo Dot
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          25 days ago

          Don’t even bother shooting them, just use the flamethrower for everything. There may be collateral damage but it’s worth it.

    • @adam_y
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      1025 days ago

      West bank.

      • @adam_y
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        25 days ago

        I say that, but I, in no way, want that to happen.

        But yeah, Boston Dynamic have long said that they don’t want their robots weaponised, but here we are seeing it happen.

        • @[email protected]
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          Boston Dynamics has made multiple robots for DARPA. If they make a really great platform, I expect they’re probably gonna be weaponized at some point. Maybe not by them, but…

          I remember a buddy of mine who was working on an autonomous, self-mapping rover research project at his university on a DARPA project. He was just working on the navigation side, part of a larger project. He was telling me how he had a “huh” moment when they got the first control unit and it had a big red button on it labelled “weapon”.

    • Flying Squid
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      925 days ago

      Employees trying to unionize.

      At least it seems like that sort of thing never ends up being a felony…

    • @afraid_of_zombies
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      425 days ago

      Rapid heating of slabs of meat for some weird meat effect rich people pay for

      • @[email protected]
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        225 days ago

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butane_torch

        Culinary

        Butane torches are frequently employed as kitchen gadgets to caramelize sugar in cooking, such as when making crème brûlée. They may be marketed as kitchen torches, cooking torches, or culinary torches. Use of the butane torch in the kitchen is not limited to caramelizing sugar; it can be used to melt or brown toppings on casseroles or soups, to melt cheese, and to roast or char vegetables such as peppers.

      • Echo Dot
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        225 days ago

        They are not actually that expensive. You just feel posh when you use one.

        My girlfriend came with one, it’s great for grilled cheese. But I’m not allowed to use it anymore because I set fire to a chocolate bar.

        • @[email protected]
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          125 days ago

          But I’m not allowed to use it anymore because I set fire to a chocolate bar.

          Huh. TIL.

          https://kitchenroar.com/flammable/chocolate/

          Chocolate, or more so cocoa, is highly flammable. If it catches fire, the blaze is difficult to extinguish since cocoa powder contains 10 to 20 per cent fat and has a huge surface area. Yes, chocolate is flammable. Most solid foods possess at least some level of flammability because they are organic, and chocolate is no exception.

          See, I don’t see how one would have known that without having actually experimented and set a chocolate bar on fire, though.

      • Zorque
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        525 days ago

        I don’t know if I’d ever be bored if I had a Wee Knight to ride.

    • @cabron_offsets
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      325 days ago

      Fuck up the rabbits that eat my flowers and leave a monolayer of rabbit shit on my property?

      • Flying Squid
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        325 days ago

        Have you considered a regular dog that doesn’t shoot flames? Our non-flamethrowing dog does a very good job taking care of the rabbits she can’t chase away.

        • @[email protected]
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          225 days ago

          Probably leaves a monolayer of dog shit, though. Now, a flamethrower robo-dog, there’s the dog of the future.

          • Flying Squid
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            125 days ago

            You can pick up dog shit. You can’t unburn your lawn.

      • @LeroyJenkins
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        025 days ago

        throw flames at your enemies from your roof

    • Echo Dot
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      125 days ago

      I hate having to carry around a .5g firelight, this will save me the immense difficulty.

    • @NeptuneOrbit
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      1725 days ago

      Dear ladies and gentleman of the jury. I will now argue that the LLM that programmed the fire breathing dog, did so in such a manner as to make it sentient. The dog was able to and did act of it’s own accord when it killed the woman, Ms Smith. The defendant here did not create sentience in the dog, nor could he have known turning the dog on, outside, may result in the fire breathing dog torch a bystander to death.

      You can see here, the dogs walking and urination patterns closely align with a real, organic dog. This definitively proves that the dog killed the woman, and now the defendant, who only released the dog into nature. Thank you very much.

      • @JustZ
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        725 days ago

        That’s a legit point under common law. The owner or keeper of a wild animal is generally strictly liable for damage caused by the animal, except if the animal is local fauna, in which case liability terminates on the animal’s escape back into the wild. I don’t know of any place with native flame throwing robots.

        • @WarlordSdocy
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          525 days ago

          Theoretically if Amazon drones become wide spread in the environment and I capture one, attach a flamethrower to it, and the above scenario happens after I release it back into the wild, would that defense then apply as Amazon drones are native to the environment?

          • @JustZ
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            324 days ago

            That would probably fall under intentional torts rather than strict animal liability. If you do, put up some vague “is this your drone?” flyers with a blurry photo, wait a bit, take the drone to the vet and pay the bill in your name, and build the evidence of your keepership, because you’ll have to admit being a keeper for the defense to work. Also, owners or keepers are liable, and this is one of those rare times in law when or also means and, and Amazon will probably help you defend the case in chief, though they will probably come after you next. This does not constitute legal advice.

        • @Everythingispenguins
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          224 days ago

          What if enough flame throwing robot dogs escape into the local environment for them to become an endemic invasive species? Then could we be able to terminate any liability associated with the barbequing of the general public?

          • @JustZ
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            123 days ago

            Obviously then yes it would be fine.

  • @[email protected]
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    3125 days ago

    “The Mechanical Hound slept but did not sleep, lived but did not live in its gently humming, gently vibrating, softly illuminated kennel back in a dark corner of the firehouse”

    Here we go…

    • Jojo
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      625 days ago

      Why do people keep reading dystopias as instruction books?

      • @[email protected]
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        325 days ago

        Your guess is as good as mine. Let’s just hope that they didn’t also see any copies of The Limits to Growth as well. It was a scientific report published in 1972 by a think-tank. Using computer models developed at MIT, the authors warned that continuing on business-as-usual population and consumption growth trajectories would likely lead to societal collapse within the next 100 years.

        I don’t know about you but I’m excited!

  • Sentient Loom
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    2625 days ago

    I hate this but it’s hilarious. It’s a microcosm of everything that’s making me depressed right now, and somehow that’s precisely why it’s amazing.

  • Rufus Q. Bodine III
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    2325 days ago

    Lying on my bed, my new dog will keep me warm on cool winter nights.

    • @[email protected]
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      According to the FAQ on the flamethrower, while the unit is apparently pretty flexible in fuel that it can handle, the recommended fuel is mostly diesel. I’d imagine that one could use biodiesel and do climate-friendly heating.

  • 👍Maximum Derek👍
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    2125 days ago

    This is a great day! I think we can ALL agree that it’s been deeply frustrating to be priced out of the flame throwing robot dog market for so long.

    • Chozo
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      925 days ago

      This is an absolute W for flamethrowing robot dog enthusiasts everywhere.

    • Flying Squid
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      625 days ago

      You were paying the market rate for your flamethrowing robot dog? Dude, buy refurbished.

    • @[email protected]
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      525 days ago

      I’m waiting for more competition to enter the market and for prices to be driven down further.

      • @afraid_of_zombies
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        525 days ago

        Owning is boring. You want to rent one through my new app. FRaaS. Flamethrower robot as a service. I am starting the first round of venturing funding at 1 billion. It also has block chain in it.

        • Echo Dot
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          325 days ago

          It also has block chain in it.

          The key is to use 100x more electricity than is actually needed.

        • @AngryCommieKender
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          125 days ago

          You’re joking, but some tech bro is gonna try to do exactly that

  • @WhiskyTangoFoxtrot
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    1625 days ago

    So how much for a shark with a frickin’ laser beam attached to its head?

  • The Menemen!
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    1625 days ago

    Imagine telling your insurance about your newest purchase.

    • Nom Nom
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      325 days ago

      They’ll probably ask for a referral, it’s legal in 48 states.

      • @AngryCommieKender
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        Ok so… I’m guessing CA and NY are the two that have outlawed flamethrowers for non roofers and non combatants?

        I know damn well the roofers in CA have flame throwers, they’re small-ish, and can only shoot a 7’-8’ flame, but they definitely have them.

        • @[email protected]
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          625 days ago

          Only 8’! What monsters are they fighting on those rooftops?

          8" sounds more like a large torch than a flamethrower to me, IDK how they classify things tho.

  • Erasmus
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    1625 days ago

    Israeli Military have entered the chat.

  • @ParabolicMotion
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    1525 days ago

    Great. Which country has your bet for the first country to sic these on their enemies?

  • @Jimmyeatsausage
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    1525 days ago

    Totally replacing my snowblower with one of these