• @Shanedino
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    35 minutes ago

    Making water into wine was not something all that special, it used to basically be a concentrate that you would then add to water to consume. Shoutout to the history of Rome podcast. So he could make more and more deluted wine with more water but it wouldn’t become more concentrated.

  • @[email protected]
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    22 hours ago

    Probably, but he had to leave something for bored celibate monks to do. There are worse callings than to devote a lifetime to finding all manner of ways to fortify wines.

  • @grue
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    145 hours ago

    No, because then the ATF will show up and shoot him.

      • @grue
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        13 hours ago

        I mean, given that Jesús would not only be a brown hippie moonshiner, but also probably a damn Mexican furriner to boot, he’d be lucky if they didn’t lay siege to the whole neighborhood, Waco-style.

  • @[email protected]
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    5 hours ago

    "And on the third day, there was a wedding in Cana. Jesus’ mother was there. When the wine was drunk, Jesus’ mother said to him, ‘We’re out of wine.’ ‘Bruh… That’s a big yikes. But why do I care?’, replied Jesus.

    Jesus mother instructed the servants, ‘you just do whatever he tells you no matter how stupid it sounds.’ Jesus sighed and turned to the servants saying, ’ Okay. You see those jars? Nope. Not that one. The big ones. Yeah. Those big ones over there. Go fill them up with water. All the way up. Then take some of the water and give it to the host."

    The servants were more than a little skeptical but shrugged and did as they were told. When the host of the wedding feast tasted the water, it had become wine. And the host exclaimed, “Damn! That is some good shit. Where did you get that from?” And the servants were amazed because they knew from where the wine came.

    And the servants implored Jesus, 'Do it again! No, wait. Can you make something stronger this time?"

    – The Gospel According to [Skibidi] John

  • @ch00f
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    12 hours ago

    I wonder what the azeotrope for magically created alcohol is.

  • @LesserAbe
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    34 hours ago

    Late one evening a boy and his father were accosted by a mugger. The traumatic moment unlocked some kind of latent power within the boy. Frantically he tried to intervene, skin touched skin, and the assailant’s blood turned to wine, fatal. But not before the cretin dealt a terminal blow to the father. And that night that boy became the hero we all know, Jesus Christ.

  • Queen HawlSera
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    24 hours ago

    Pretty much, and for anyone wondering if God could create a rock he couldn’t lift…

    The answer is still yes, and he is then unable to lift the rock, but able to remove the limitation preventing him from lifting the rock at any time.

  • @A_Union_of_Kobolds
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    669 hours ago

    Water + Jesus = Wine

    Wine + Jesus = Brandy

    Brandy + Jesus = Twice-distilled Brandy? Cooking sherry? Idk

    • Billiam
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      318 hours ago

      I choose to believe at this point, Jesus got so drunk he forgot to try it a third time.

      • metaStatic
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        288 hours ago

        Is this really the blood of Christ? Man that guy must have been wasted 24/7

        • @acosmichippo
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          88 hours ago

          bro do you got any snacks to go with this

          • Ech
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            76 hours ago

            You can have one tasteless cracker.

          • @cybervseas
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            47 hours ago

            All I can offer is some fish and bread.

            • Kraiden
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              56 hours ago

              It’s all you can eat though, so there’s that

  • @Windex007
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    117 hours ago

    No it is impossible for God to do that.

  • @Balthazar
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    68 hours ago

    If he indeed turned water into wine and made all things, why would he need to recurse as if he can’t get it right the first time?

    • @acosmichippo
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      78 hours ago

      because he works in mysterious ways of course.

  • oce 🐆
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    58 hours ago

    You just have to find another bodily fluid with the same color as the target alcohol.

    • @TootSweet
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      6 hours ago

      Jesus told me it doesn’t have to be alcohol. He once turned piss into Mtn Dew. I’ve only ever done the opposite.