I’ve had hemorrhoids for like 25 years, so I’ve always been very discerning about my toilet paper.

this entire time, I’ve been using whatever toilet paper I have found to be the softest as facial tissue, to blow my nose, as well. my reasoning being, if this stuff is gentle enough for my hemorrhoids, of course it’s going to be gentle enough for repeated use on my upper lip.

then, a friend turns me on to one of those new “with lotion” facial tissues (my bathroom tissue always has aloe in it) and wouldn’t you know it, my upper lip finds it to be softer than the toilet paper. but, when I try using it as toilet paper, my anus doesn’t find it to be less irritating than the toilet paper.

why do my butthole and my upper lip think that different things are softer? is it just chemistry?

  • @AndrewZabar
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    3 hours ago

    new “with lotion” facial tissues

    They were new in the 1980s, just FYI. The first ones were called “Puffs Plus With Lotion”

  • southsamurai
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    416 hours ago

    Dammit, yet another question that I spent too much of my life on.

    It comes down to nerves and tissue (cell, not paper) types.

    The outside of your nose and the tissues of the anus are not the exact same. There’s a different concentration of “nerve endings”, and different types in different concentrations.

    I doubt you want the full Monty of it, but if you look up the term “sensory receptors”, you can do the deep dive very easily.

    The short version is that we have specific types of “nerve endings” (that’s what they’re called colloquially, hence the quote marks, but I’ll stop using those at this point). They detect pressure, temperature, pain/injury, etc.

    The concentrations of them (as in how many per square inch), and the assortment of them (as in how many of each type in that square inch) varies across the entire body. The easiest way to demonstrate the relative principle is to touch your fingertip to your nose, your lips, your genitals (seriously), and your leg.

    You’ll find that your brain interprets the signals in an interesting way. It’ll filter the less intense signals. You touch your finger to your lip, what your brain “says” is that your lips are being touched by something, and the signal from your finger takes the back seat. You touch the same fingertip to your thigh your brain says the finger is the primary sensation, and you feel the thigh via the finger rather than the finger via the thigh the way the lips worked.

    Give it a try on whatever parts of your body you want. There’s going to be a shifting perception of whether it’s your finger touching something ( where emphasis is placed on the signals from the finger), or it’ll be the section of the body being touched by the finger (signal from the touched location being emphasized).

    The anus and the nose have different jobs. The anus, mostly, needs to detect pressure, injury, and some degree of chemical contact the nose needs less pressure sensitivity, but more motion sensitivity. So you’ll get a different overall sensation with any given substance that’s pushed against either, and when the same substance is moved across either. The difference may end up being minor. But both are sensitive enough that most people can tell a difference between paper tissue products blindfolded.

    Back in the day, I wiped asses for pay. The only patients I had that couldn’t tell the difference between brands of TP had medical issues that interfered with nerve signals. Do a test for yourself. Find a buddy to hand you tp or facial tissues and keep a log (heh, he said log while talking about butts). There’s a very good chance that every single one will feel different. You’ll probably be able to tell which brand is which if you’ve used that brand before.

    You can probably even tell the difference with your fingers tbh. But you wouldn’t likely be able to if the same products were placed or rubbed on your back

    You’d also notice that different objects will feel different when just placed on an area and pressed gently into the skin vs when you wipe the area with it.

    Skin is an amazing thing. It’s armor, a sensor array, a biological filter, sunscreen, and a temperature regulator all in one! Plus other functions tbh, but shit like that gets overwhelming to read for a lot of people

    You’d be amazed what you can discover with just an hour sitting around and touching things to parts of your body.

    • MrsDoyle
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      53 hours ago

      Oh my god! I’m sitting here touching myself like a fucking madwoman. Thank you so much! Brilliant, brilliant comment. I had no idea, how have I lived without this knowledge? Ok I’m touching myself again, this is hilarious.

    • @[email protected]
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      13 hours ago

      What does it mean if the sensation always seems to be “my finger is touching” vs “I’m being touched by a finger”? I feel like I completely understand what you’re getting at and it’s something I’ve never thought about before so I’m touching myself all over but everything feels like it’s being touched by my finger. I haven’t found a spot that feels like my finger is touching it yet and I really want to.

      • southsamurai
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        32 hours ago

        Well, barring some form of medical issue, chances are that you’ve run into the mind-body connection.

        It’s entirely possible to override the filtering the brain does. You can decide to pay attention to the signals from your finger more, and your brain will usually obey.

        And it is possible that either your fingers are extra sensitive, or that the places you’re touching are atypically low in comparison to your fingers.

        Generally, the two most sensitive spots on the body are the lips and the genitals. But there’s stuff that can interfere with that isn’t abnormal or a problem, but still shift the way the brain processes the signals coming in.

        I’d try dimming lights, or even cutting them off, and very gently, with only enough pressure to make contact, move a fingertip, usually the index finger, across your lips. You can also try treating your finger like a lollipop, and wrap your lips around the tip to gently kiss. That gives greater area of contact, which will help if the issue is something like thicker skin on the lips.

        And, at the risk of seeming weird, gently touching the glans penis (the head) or clitoris almost always works as the nerve density there is as high as it gets.

        For me, my entire face feels the finger, but once I get past the chin or into the scalp, it shifts. Some people only have the lips, nose and sometimes eyes that are more sensitive than the fingers.

        • @[email protected]
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          I think I might have gotten into my own head with it when I first noticed what you meant when I touched my lips. I touched my genitals after and then went to my thighs. My lips and genitals I can clearly feel that they are being touched by my finger and I don’t feel it through my finger. So I started poking my thighs, chest, back, feet, etc and it kept feeling the same but I think I was pushing too hard or had the experiment in my head too much. After reading this post I can feel the difference testing my lips vs my forehead and from there I seem to weirdly be able to tell my brain is influencing wether I feel the sensation through my thigh or my finger if I do that next. If I go from my lips to my thigh I feel it in my thigh, if I go from my forehead to my thigh I feel both through my finger. It’s like my brain is screwing with me/itself because it knows what I’m doing. I bet if I was less focused on what I’m trying to experiment with that I could do it in a more decoupled way. Such a small but cool bit about myself that I had no idea was a thing. Thank you for explaining and walking me through the process.

          Edit: I think I reversed the sensation direction in my first response, my only excuse is that this is kind of wild and new territory for me so I think I struggle communication the different sensations that I never even realized I was capable of until now. Your explanation and guidance was still right on though. Thank you

    • @ChexMax
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      55 hours ago

      Thank you posting such an in depth and interesting explanation!

  • DoctorButts
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    748 hours ago

    This is the type of hard hitting content I wish we had more of around here

  • @[email protected]
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    217 hours ago

    Irregardless!

    Don’t use nose tissues as toilet paper!

    They’re made stronger for sneezes, not designed to “dissolve.”

    They’ll gunk up your pipes !

  • @Crackhappy
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    509 hours ago

    This may be too deep a question for a Thursday.

  • @ExhaleSmile
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    429 hours ago

    Get a bidet!!! No irritation, just dab dry, helps immensely.

    • @[email protected]
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      458 hours ago

      I tried the bidet but it’s too powerful for my nose, just felt like I was waterboarding myself. 0/10, not recommend.

    • Ellia PlisskenOP
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      218 hours ago

      i have one! that didn’t make the question in the back of my mind go away unfortunately

      • @TrickDacy
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        13 hours ago

        Hmm interesting. My experience is that the type of toilet paper matters much less with a bidet. I barely feel the paper in that case.

        • Ellia PlisskenOP
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          13 hours ago

          I didn’t say it didn’t eliminate the problem, I said it didn’t make the question in the back of my mind go away

  • Nougat
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    188 hours ago

    I am going to suggest that you get a colonoscopy. My own experience with giant polyps is that they reduce the ability to evacuate fully, and make for an “it’s like a marker, I just keep wiping” condition. Between the extra straining and extra filth, that can definitely be a “recipe” for hemmorhoids.

    Thank you for subscribing to Butthole Facts.

    • Ellia PlisskenOP
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      5 hours ago

      i got one when i was diagnosed with them at 18 but it’s time for another (they give you really good drugs for a colonoscopy)

      • Nougat
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        14 hours ago

        All they gave me was propyphol, I wouldn’t call it “good.” Just knocks you out.

    • Ellia PlisskenOP
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      219 hours ago

      okay, I will start taking yoga now, and get back to you once I am capable of running this test

    • @fubo
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      38 hours ago

      On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog … until you tell them.

    • @Lost_My_Mind
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      -47 hours ago

      …Damn Girl! How flexable ARE you??? Can I rent you for the night???

      Oh, sorry. That came off wrong.

      I was just trying to imply that my penis would have fun with your body, bending you into various positions for my sexual benefit.

      I didn’t mean to imply you would profit or gain anything from the experience.

    • FuglyDuck
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      179 hours ago

      not to mention, the ‘lotion’ stuff isn’t going in your nose- or even remotely close to the sensitive parts of your nose.

      Plenty of lotions are irritants if you use them in places they’re not meant to go.