• @friend_of_satan
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    3712 months ago

    But these sheep can’t wear masks? Give me a fucking break.

    • @NJSpradlin
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      952 months ago

      They’re inconvenienced by having to smell their own lies.

    • @givesomefucks
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      602 months ago

      To be fair, they need the bandage just as much as trump does.

      Like. A day or two after the attempt he was out golfing and didn’t have a bandage or anything.

      I think it was just a small nick and the blood thinners he’s likely on just makes you bleed like crazy since they prevent clotting. A small scratch looks like a war wound, and would explain why there was blood everywhere but he still has a functional ear.

      Like, if he really got shot in the ear, he’d be missing a part of his ear like in Preacher. It won’t just heal back.

      Dude got a scratch and is playing it up.

      • The Octonaut
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        72 months ago

        He’s a WWE Hall of Famer. I would not be surprised if he was blading.

        • @givesomefucks
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          502 months ago

          He’s in his late 70s, doesn’t exercise, eats like shit, and is drastically overweight…

          Like, it’s one of those things that are just safe to assume. Blood thinners arent really that rare for people 30 years younger than either candidate.

          • @Valmond
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            -22 months ago

            I wonder what his theoretical are is lol.

        • Orbituary
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          192 months ago

          His blood is thick with hamburger juice.

        • @[email protected]
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          42 months ago

          A lot of people that age, with his OBVIOUS unhealthy BMI are on blood thinner as prevention more than anything else.

        • @Cocodapuf
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          22 months ago

          To prevent strokes and heart attacks. It’s pretty common.

    • @Myxomatosis
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      42 months ago

      The masks prevent them from quaffing their own farts all day long.

    • @EisFrei
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      42 months ago

      Well…

      There isn’t a fourth monkey covering its nose.

  • @[email protected]
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    2952 months ago

    LOL what the fuck. i’ve never seen a more subservient bitchass group of bootlicking sheep than republicans

    • @[email protected]
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      392 months ago

      Apparently, the other people are sheep. These are the free-thinking freedom loving people! /s

      Dear God man … this is crazy cringe.

      • @rayyy
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        152 months ago

        Projection is how Republicans roll. Remember when MAGA accused Joe Biden of wearing diapers and they found out their dear orange felon/rapist cult leader wore them instead, and started wearing them?

      • @RaoulDook
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        152 months ago

        I think it’s pretty close. Both are super fucking weird and pathetic.

        • @markon
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          22 months ago

          Don’t knock diapers till you try em tho

    • @Myxomatosis
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      172 months ago

      And yet they’re the ones screeching about “alpha males and the loss of masculinity in America.”

      • @[email protected]
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        82 months ago

        which is hilarious, because if you’re whining about someone “taking away your masculinity,” (OR if you’re having panic attacks about someone else’s masculinity) then you were never masculine in the first place.

      • @TokenBoomer
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        32 months ago

        Hierarchies gonna hypocritize.

    • @Lost_My_Mind
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      162 months ago

      But remember, they hate being called sheep.

      Just a reminder, jd vance, trumps newest vp pick, has on many occasions been quoted in the past of saying “I didn’t vote for trump”, “I never liked trump”, and “I’m a never-trump guy”.

      NOW he sings trumps praises, and kisses trumps ass.

      • @[email protected]
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        112 months ago

        vance is just another vapid muppet who’ll get thrown under the bus the instant shit goes sideways and trump needs someone to blame for…whatever. just like all the other used-to-be-never-trumpers who are now fighting over who gets to be first to be facialed by trump

        • @barsquid
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          42 months ago

          His name has an extra syllable, he might be counting on Trumpanzees being unable to make a nice little chant like they did for Pence.

      • @[email protected]
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        22 months ago

        Vance literally called Trump “America’s Hitler” in a now deleted tweet.

        Also so many are Christian and say shit like “the lord is my shepard” in the same breath that they call other people “sheep.”

      • @TokenBoomer
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        92 months ago

        I’m gonna take your word, I ain’t clicking on anal fistulas.

    • @bcgm3
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      52 months ago

      So say we all.

  • The Pantser
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    1132 months ago

    Don’t they know a bandage on the right ear means you are gay?

    • @[email protected]
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      482 months ago

      I guess I will explain it for people

      This is actually a thing…with piercings

      Getting the right ear pieced, also called the gay ear, is a way to signal to others that you are gay. I have no idea if it’s still a thing but growing up if you were getting a piercing the rule was left or both

      • @Glitterbomb
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        322 months ago

        I have two in my right, one in my left, and have been told many times that its the same thing. More in the right ear apparently makes me gay. Im definitely straight, but I kept my piercings like this for the last 15 years, and wouldnt you know it, the only people telling me thats gay are other straight people. This is certainly just personal experiences, but my personal experience is that its not a ‘gay rule’ as much as its a ‘homophobe rule.’ Like you said, pretty sure it was a style or signal in the gay community in the 80s or something, but any more it just feels like an urban legend perpetuated by bigots.

          • flicker
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            32 months ago

            I actually always figured it was based in the same logic as flagging. Beware; extremely NSFW link about sex and BDSM.

        • @psycho_driver
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          42 months ago

          Do you ever punish those straight people for their mistake by humping their buttholes?

        • @thebestaquaman
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          Honestly, I don’t blame straight people that caught up with the “right ear” thing in the 80’s for that they haven’t caught up with the fact that it’s expired.

      • @TheWordBotcher
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        102 months ago

        Or, as my mom so concisely put it when I was a child, “Right is wrong if you’re straight.”

        • @Lost_My_Mind
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          32 months ago

          She voted for trump, didn’t she?

          • @TheWordBotcher
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            32 months ago

            Progressive-leaning lesbian and vehemently anti-Trump, actually. She was very much a part of LGBTQ+ culture in the 90s, and the ear piercing thing was a part of it at the time. Though it really has fallen to the wayside nowadays.

      • @Xanis
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        Is this still a thing? I could have sworn it fell away like ten years ago.

        Then again, I wasn’t sure certain types of pants would ever come back. RETURN TO US, JNCO!

      • @Maggoty
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        32 months ago

        I heard it was the left ear, or any piercing, or it was the right ear, or it was only certain kinds of piercings.

        None of it was true.

      • @[email protected]
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        12 months ago

        This was never a very reliable thing ever and certainly isn’t anymore. The joke the OP makes is in reference to what it was used for, which was an attempt to attack / stigmatize anyone who did choose their right ear for a piercing perpetrated by small minds. Many of those small minds have now grown into the hateful old bigots that are the base of the GOP.

  • @Delusional
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    So they’re fine with cloth on the face as long as it’s completely unnecessary?

    Seems everyone should have realized by now what a weak, sad, and pathetic group the Republican party is.

      • @Emerald
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        92 months ago

        Not to be confused with the American Nazi Party. But I forget what the difference between the two is these days

      • @Lost_My_Mind
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        72 months ago

        Yes, you two are in agreement. You’re saying the same thing.

  • @ccunning
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    862 months ago

    I can’t decide if this is more or less weird than wearing a diaper in support of Trum…no…it’s less weird…right?

      • @ccunning
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        No! And that’s why I decided the diapers were weirder. Those folks had to go out of their way to announce they were wearing diapers.

        I mean what even is the point of wearing a diaper in support of Trump if you don’t tell everyone?

        • Admiral Patrick
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          142 months ago

          Those folks had to go out of their way to announce they were wearing diapers.

          I did not look at it from that angle, but you are 100% correct; the diapers are weirder. lol

    • @logicbomb
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      132 months ago

      Since these people aren’t treating any ear injury, you might as well call these “ear diapers.”

    • Queen HawlSera
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      2 months ago

      Honestly I’d be perfectly fine if we just stopped treating it like the Forbidden R-Word

      I’m Autistic for the record

      • spicy pancake
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        2 months ago

        I wouldn’t pejoratively call a mute person dumb, a mobility device user lame, or an intellectually disabled person retarded

        but I will absolutely call cringe political fanatics lame, dumb retards

        also here’s some free fag-passes from your friendly internet dyke, cuz “fag” is a great fuckin multipurpose word

        • @die444die
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          92 months ago

          This is like saying “When I say ‘that’s gay’, I don’t mean gay as in homosexual, I mean gay as in stupid”.

          • spicy pancake
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            if straight women got bleeped when they said “dyke” I’d have a way easier time dating 🫠

            just run up to a hot gal with a fake microphone like “TRIVIA POP QUIZ WHAT’S THE WORD FOR ‘an embankment for holding back water’!?”

            “[bleep]?”
            “correct thank you ma’am have a nice day”

            “dyke?”
            “correct! question 2 are you single and/or dating?”

            • @Brickhead92
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              72 months ago

              “TRIVIA POP QUIZ WHAT’S THE WORD FOR ‘an embankment for holding back water’!?”

              “A levee??”
              “… touchè”

            • @SLVRDRGN
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              22 months ago

              I’m confused - does the microphone have gaydar screening and auto-bleep capabilities? I would describe that as much more than a fake microphone.

              • spicy pancake
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                42 months ago

                moreso this is a hypothetical alternate universe where every time a straight woman says the word “dyke” it gets bleeped, a la that South Park clip

        • Queen HawlSera
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          42 months ago

          I mean thank you, I remember I got banned from a group like 10 years ago because I said the forbidden F-word, they all knew I was pan and trans, but apparently my N-Word Pass expired?

          Can’t say the t-word either, I remember before it was a pejorative it was more like a cute nickname.

          • spicy pancake
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            72 months ago

            original meaning: “waaaah I got trapped into thinking a person of the sex I’m not attracted to is hot and now my genitalia is making me feel weird!”

            new & improved meaning: this person dressed not as their assigned-birth-sex is so hot they could literally trap me Looney Tunes style by being distractingly attractive 😩

            • AbsentBird
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              62 months ago

              I thought they meant the slur that’s also slang for a car’s transmission.

              • spicy pancake
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                32 months ago

                oh yeah! that’s way cutesier-sounding than trap now I think about it

            • Queen HawlSera
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              12 months ago

              Not the T-Word I meant, I think Trap is still an appropiate term for femboys in a purely sexual context. It’s only offensive when used as a term for transgirls… at least that’s what I’ve heard

              The word I was thinking of is six letter long

          • @thebestaquaman
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            I may be happily ignorant, but what is the “f-word” and “t-word”?

    • @Mediocre_Bard
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      172 months ago

      I work in special education and give you the pass.

    • @[email protected]
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      112 months ago

      We call Republicans hard R’s in our house… it just fits.

      Brian Posehn has a great bit about it in his 25x2 special.

  • MudMan
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    792 months ago

    I’ll give it to you, this is the most a Not The Onion post has made me go “wait, is that The Onion”?

    Good job. I think.

    • @SlippiHUD
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      162 months ago

      Oh, did you not see the commemorative sneakers he’s selling?

      • MudMan
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        22 months ago

        Nah, that I believed. Trump shilling useless crap is extremely plausible.

  • @[email protected]
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    672 months ago

    You think if the shooter hadn’t missed they’d be removing their heads in solidarity?

    • mommykink
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      182 months ago

      I do honestly think a lot of people on that side would commit suicide if Trump was killed, yes.

    • @Seasm0ke
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      32 months ago

      I think after the bandage comes off you’re going to see accidental su*cides from people trying to copycat themselves

    • @AnUnusualRelic
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      22 months ago

      Maybe we’ll get to find out one of these days.

      • AbsentBird
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        102 months ago

        When has solidarity resembled anything like this? Wearing a fake bandage is a strange way to show it, it’s hyper focused on the leader as opposed to the movement. It reads more as devotion than solidarity.

        • @[email protected]
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          32 months ago

          This is the kind of thing you do for the kid that’s feeling down about their injured appearance. For a supposed leader of the free world who brought the injury on themselves, it’s definitely more like kissing the ring

        • @[email protected]
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          22 months ago

          I think they’re trying to milk the sympathy card for all it’s worth by wearing these bandages. Since Trump only got a cut on his ear and an innocent spectator was killed, the event isn’t playing as well as it did for Reagan back in the day during his reelection campaign. Wearing big, bulky bandages, they’re ‘peacocking’ to keep Trump’s extremely mild injury fresh in everyone’s mind.

        • @[email protected]
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          02 months ago

          Wearing something symbolic is not a strange way to show solidarity at all. It’s one of the most common ways to show solidarity.

          • AbsentBird
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            Solidarity with a movement or organization is different than solidarity with a person.

            Like everyone in your office might wear a company logo sometimes to show your affiliation, but if they all put on a bandaid everytime the boss got a paper cut it would seem a bit cultish.

      • @Passerby6497
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        52 months ago

        Yeah, I bet they were wearing diapers in solidarity too 🙄

  • @Crampon
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    592 months ago

    Devils advocate for the heck of it. Gonna be submerged in bad rep for this.

    This is comparative to people wearing “I can’t breathe” signs after Floyd or waving a pride flag to show solidarity. You just give them shit because you do t agree with them.

    Sure they are all fucking stupid for not seeing the obvious flaws in their idol. But giving them shit for a pretty rational way of showing support to their idol is not the right use of your energy.

    You are participating in the fragmentation of your nation by pouring your hate into simple stuff like this.

    For all I care go ahead. I’m European.

    • ComradeSharkfucker
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      542 months ago

      Hear me out, showing solidarity to a slave owner attacked by his slave is different than showing solidarity to a slave who was just beaten. The power dynamic should not be ignored

      • @[email protected]
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        102 months ago

        Hear me out…

        I’m sorry, could you speak into my other non-assassinated ear? Thank you

    • @[email protected]
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      342 months ago

      But giving them shit for a pretty rational way of showing support to their idol is not the right use of your energy.

      Laughing at idiots is never not the right use of my energy, thank you very much.

      You are participating in the fragmentation of your nation by pouring your hate into simple stuff like this.

      I’ll feel guilty about it when it isn’t fascists I’m fragmenting out of my country. If anything, I’m proud to make those fucks uncomfortable in my country.

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
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      Who’s giving them shit for the way they are showing their support and not just for who they are supporting? 🤨

      If you support a tyrannical moron, even if the way you show it is rational, I’m still gonna give you shit for supporting a tyrannical moron.

    • @duct_tape_is_silver
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      The method of showing support might be similar to something like the George Floyd demonstrations. But I’m not giving them shit for their method, I’m doing it because of who they’re showing support for. If somebody wore a bandage on their ear in solidarity with an innocent person who was shot in that spot by cops, I’d applaud them.

      And as for fragmenting our nation, there is no tolerance available for fascists and their supporters. They choose to split us apart when they vote for someone like Trump who targets the vulnerable in our society.

    • @[email protected]
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      2 months ago

      One guy died as a result of police oppression. The other got his ear cut for being an asshole.

      • One is solidarity as a memorial.

      • One is solidarity with an idiot.

      SAME THING EVERYONE!

    • @nucleative
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      82 months ago

      Thank you for being willing to stick your neck out there and say what you feel and see.

      On social media, especially sites where voting seems to happen in packs, it’s risky to have a counter opinion. Too many people just don’t say how they feel if it’s counter to the mainstream, and then their voices are completely drowned out.

      Perhaps your idea is more mainstream than you know but those who share it don’t have a willingness to jump into the fire, leaving those with more extreme positions thinking they have agreement with most when they don’t.

    • KillingTimeItself
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      62 months ago

      This is comparative to people wearing “I can’t breathe” signs after Floyd or waving a pride flag to show solidarity. You just give them shit because you do t agree with them.

      i mean yeah, except if floyd was just, moderately bruised, and wasn’t killed.

      Like it’s still bad, but he barely got hit, so it’s literally just a flesh wound.

    • @[email protected]
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      12 months ago

      No, your analogy would require people having fake knees choking them out, which is as ridiculous as the ear patches. But what do you expect from people who wear a 3d model of their god being killed everywhere they go.

    • littleblue✨
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      Has a shit grasp of logical fallacies, much less elementary logic

      I’m European

      Hunh. Did not see that coming.

    • @StereoTrespasser
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      -92 months ago

      You are absolutely correct. The left is just as guilty of tribalism as the right.

      • @[email protected]
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        172 months ago

        Nah. That’s not true at all.

        There are tons and tons of videos on social media of people literally praying to Trump.

        We don’t do shit like that.

        • @SLVRDRGN
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          72 months ago

          Remember they are devout republicans.

        • @[email protected]
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          2 months ago

          There is a lot of truth to it. Just criticize or bring up one of the many objectively bad things Biden has done and then wait for the Blue MAGA individuals to come out of the woodwork telling you he’s “the most progressive president in modern history” and that he deserves our unwavering support just because he has a (D) next to his name.

          I’m sure a lot of this is rooted in fear around him losing the election, but these people have their heads buried in the sand and can’t see that the Democrats are handing the election to Trump just like they did in 2016 because they’d rather maintain the status quo and push right wing candidates like Clinton and Biden than help the American people by allowing a real progressive into the office.

          • @thebestaquaman
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            22 months ago

            There’s a huge difference between saying someone is doing good, and literally praying to them in their absence. Like, have you seen the videos of people filming themselves praying to Donald trump to free them of <whatever>? They exist.

        • ComradeSharkfucker
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          THE LEFT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT WEARING BIDEN BRANDED CLOTHING THAT IS NOT THE LEFT BIDEN IS NOT LEFT FUCK

          Edit: I am sorry for yelling but seriously the left starts at anticapitalism. Biden is just another right wing ghoul

      • @[email protected]
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        52 months ago

        The left used their brain and all come to the conclusion that Trump is a shitty person all on their own, they didn’t get their words from Fox News or their Republican cult leader

          • @[email protected]
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            -62 months ago

            sheep is led by a shepherd, people who make their thoughts on their own are the opposite of a sheep. You need to educate yourself more, at your current level of intelligence, you’ll swallow anything the Republican shit out