• mechoman444
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    216 hours ago

    Kinda in the same vein: I was taking an emergency dump at a Walmart. There was a person in the stall next to me taking a dump as well.

    Some time passes and a Walmart employee knocks and says “maintenance, any one in here?” And before I can respond the guy next to me let’s out a massive loud as hell fart and the walmart employee without missing a beat says “take your time”.

  • @dessimbelackis
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    218 hours ago

    If I was in the next stall I would have started singing Hallelujah

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppetM
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      24 hours ago

      The 4th the 5th, the 6th the 7th, the 8th the 9th, the 10th the 11th!

      Hallelujah.

      Hallelujah.

  • @[email protected]
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    11419 hours ago

    How did it happen that many people (Americans???) flush fish down the toilet?

    Just bury it, like you would any other dead pet.

    • @Xenny
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      7 hours ago

      It might be a Simpsons did it thing. Then finding Nemo probably popularized it further with the “all drains lead to the ocean” scene.

      • @[email protected]
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        3 hours ago

        It’s older than the Simpsons for sure. Flushing your (mostly/presumed) dead pets down the toilet was how the urban legends of alligators in the NYC sewers came about…

    • Sabata
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      1613 hours ago

      Uhh, my roommate fed his dead fish to my tarantula.

      • @stoly
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        141 seconds ago

        It’s cultural but I don’t know why. Probably to avoid smells from dead fish.

    • Flying Squid
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      1615 hours ago

      I don’t know. I tried it with a salmon once, but I had to call the plumber.

      • @Thteven
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        7 hours ago

        Buried a fish under a tree once, fuckin dog had that shit dug up in 5 minutes and was rolling around in it.

      • @stoly
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        120 seconds ago

        So that’s why the chinook are struggling.

    • @[email protected]
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      16 hours ago

      Maybe I’m alone on this, but my family used to put dead birds, squirrels,… found on our terrain in the trash… I really got furious and said that those were living beings and they deserve proper burial even if it’s some random animal found in the backyard…

      The only way to make them understand what It means was to say: “Don’t worry, I will also put your dead body in a trash bin”.

      • @I_Has_A_Hat
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        3114 hours ago

        That’s fine, put me in the trash. Reverence for dead bodies is weird. They aren’t living, they will never be living again, they are empty husks of meat. The only reason to bury them or do anything else with them is to avoid the spreading of rot and disease. Putting them in the trash is just as acceptable as throwing out that 2 month old cooked beef you forgot about in the back of the fridge.

        • @wjrii
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          39 hours ago

          Do you want Gul Dukat to hide the existence of the half-Bajoran love child he intends to murder out of personal ambition?

          Because that attitude is exactly how you get Gul Dukat to try to hide the existence of the half-Bajoran love child he intends to murder out of personal ambition.

        • @[email protected]
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          813 hours ago

          That’s your point of view. And I won’t give you any counter-arguments… I’m not even religious by any mean, but showing some respect is the minimum due to every living being on earth.

          Sure I put my own vision to other family members, but In most people believe system being thrown away like trash is not the way you want to be remembered of.

          Putting them in the trash is just as acceptable as throwing out that 2 month old cooked beef

          I do not eat any meat but I won’t push that specific regime to anyone, because that’s not how it works. However, I’m not sure this comparison is right… You wouldn’t eat your cat/dog, pet bird, bunny?

          • @[email protected]
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            24 hours ago

            (not who you replied to)

            respect is the minimum due to every living being on earth.

            Well… Yeah, for living beings, not corpses. A corpse is not gonna care about you “respecting” (a human concept!) it. Like, it’s fine if you need to bury a pet to feel better, but it’s not gonna care - these kinds of rituals are for the living.

            (Also, fwiw, I’d hope my corpse would be harvested for organs after my death and everything that can’t be used to help the living can be chopped up and tossed in the bin lol I’m not gonna be there to see it. Plus, that way I’m not wasting space decomposing slowly.)

          • Lemminary
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            47 hours ago

            You wouldn’t eat your cat/dog, pet bird, bunny?

            I have had pet bunny soup, unfortunately. We were moving and we couldn’t give him away so my grandpa took him out back and my grandma fired up the stove… It wasn’t a nice experience for us kids but it was culturally acceptable here.

          • @Shapillon
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            411 hours ago

            I don’t since you tend to keep your pets around until they’re too ill to keep on living decently and I wouldn’t eat sick meat.

    • @cryptiod137
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      2519 hours ago

      I used to bury my pets until my family got mad

      • @heartbreaker
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        19 hours ago

        It’s time to flush my 5-ton (11.000-pound) pet elephant down the toilet 😢

      • @coke38
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        1019 hours ago

        Did you wait for them to die before ?

  • @Agent641
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    11621 hours ago

    Imagine having a nice, relaxing work poo and suddenly the next stall is full of fish mourners

  • @[email protected]
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    4620 hours ago

    We, a developer team, had a fish at work. Being developers it was a Beta fish. And, of course, we named it Masta.

  • @adam_y
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    1617 hours ago

    So like okay, so OK, so OK, like so, OK, so Okay, like Ok, so???

    • niftyOP
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      3421 hours ago

      I didn’t screenshot it lol, it’s literally like that from the the place I stole it from

      • @Lost_My_Mind
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        5320 hours ago

        You STOLE it??? Just downloaded it right onto your device???

        You wouldn’t download a car…

        • @[email protected]
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          18 hours ago

          Good thing it’s not an NFT, since you totally can’t just download the .png files from those

          • Fuck spez
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            1319 hours ago

            And the owner gets to keep the original? Hell yeah, I’ll take two.

        • rand_alpha19
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          616 hours ago

          Honestly, I would download 10 cars and give 1 to each of my closest friends. Same with houses if I could download those.

        • Cadeillac
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          319 hours ago

          My partner asked if this was one of your stories lmao. I immediately came to look for you, because it totally sounds like something that would come from you

          • @Lost_My_Mind
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            618 hours ago

            I love how in your household I’ve become somewhat of a celebrity.

            “HONEY! COME QUICK! NEW LMM STORY JUST DROPPED!!!”

            Partner comes running in carrying an iPad She was on a job interview video conference, but told the guy “No, seriously, shush. This is more important, and also you’ll thank me later for sharing.”

            Guy on the interview call is just like “This better be good…”

            “Oh, it WILL be!”

            • southsamurai
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              412 hours ago

              It’s kinda weird at first, but you’ll get used to it.

              I had people that followed me on reddit that now “follow” me on lemmy. It’s obviously not possible to follow users here, but they’ll go to my profile and scroll, which is close enough.

              Lemmy is still small enough that anyone can fairly reliably start noticing other users over time and look forward to interactions, or their posts/comments, even without going through the extra step of looking them up.

              It’s both cool and disconcerting lol

              • Cadeillac
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                311 hours ago

                I don’t follow him lol, we have a lot of the same interests and I see him in threads all the time. As soon as my partner said it sounded like LMM I knew he’d be in the comments

            • Cadeillac
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              211 hours ago

              Close enough lmao

    • @theangryseal
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      415 hours ago

      🫧Blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub🫧