So the tailor doesn’t touch your penis when they’re measuring you

  • @[email protected]
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    1182 months ago

    This feels like satire? A site called real men, real style with an article about penises?

    • @[email protected]
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      2 months ago

      This also seems like the kind of thing an ai hallucinated up, but so does the wording in a lot of academic textbooks.

    • @FireTower
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      172 months ago

      The site it self isn’t satire. They’ve got a YouTube channel w/ 3.5 million subs.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      102 months ago

      You know, I recognized that too, but what I really needed was for someone to tell me what “how do you dress” meant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • @Taniwha420
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    902 months ago

    No, they’re not worried about joggling your junk. It’s because you need something like an extra half inch in the seam on the side you dress on to leave a little extra room in your pants for your dick. Well-tailored pants are asymetrical. Not sure those of you who wear briefs need to worry about it.

    • @RaoulDook
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      132 months ago

      This seems like a good place for a joke about hanging dong. Podcasts about how the distinguished gentleman may properly hang dong in tailored slacks, let’s go with that

    • @[email protected]
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      112 months ago

      This is the right answer. It’s so if you’re wearing tightly tailored pants you have some dick space so you’re not imprinting and showing it off to everyone.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      92 months ago

      I don’t have the equipment to know if this is true or not, but it seems smart to ask the person you’re fitting so that you don’t accidentally grope them

      • @[email protected]
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        2 months ago

        Its true. This is a common tailoring question for men. Nothing to do with being fondled and everything to do with the pants fit. If you are getting measured like this for expensive pants your going to get nudged a bit anyways when they do the inseam measure.

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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          72 months ago

          I’ve been measured for expensive suits and I’ve never been asked this question.

          • fmstrat
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            42 months ago

            Most likely due to the for style of the suit, or the country of origin which can define that.

            • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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              22 months ago

              Yeah that makes sense. I don’t wear skinny pants, so there’s usually ample room in the crotch.

      • @Taniwha420
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        52 months ago

        I think you’re telling me you’re a woman. I want to point out that seeing a tailor is a non-sexual experience. I’m not sure I’ve ever been to one, not even a female tailor, who HASN’T made incidental contact with my genitals when checking fit, particularly in-seam. It’s a far cry from being “groped”. It’s a bit like imagining a lingerie specialist worries about touching someone’s boobs, or that a doctor gets worried about seeing someone naked.

  • @[email protected]
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    2 months ago

    Let me translate this old joke from Coluche

    It’s the story of a guy who is constantly living with migraines. He goes to the doctor for the tenth time and says “doctor I can’t take it anymore, these migraines are ruining my life!”, so the doctor prescribes him some medication and says “listen, these are the last resorts… If they don’t work, there’s really only one thing we can do, and it’s to chop off your dick!”, “chop off my dick?? I sure do hope these meds work!!”. The guy returns home and starts taking the meds. But months past and the migraines persist. He can’t take it anymore, so he goes back to the doctor and says “doctor, I’ve had it, I have no life, it will be better to live without a dick than not to live at all”, “very well, let’s get it done!”. And so the doctor chops off his dick! Months past and the guy’s migraines are completely gone. He’s so happy, he finally can live a somewhat normal life. After months of success, he tells himself “I think I should celebrate! Let get ourselves a nice suit!”. So he goes to the tailor, and the tailor asks him “sir, tell me, which way do you hang?”, obviously the guy replies “oh you know, it is of no importance what so ever…”, the tailor exclaims loudly “are you mad? It is of the upmost importance sir! If it hangs on the wrong side of the pants, you’ll end up getting constant migraines!!”

    • Jojo, Lady of the West
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      22 months ago

      I’ve always heard the ending be something like:

      Sir, you are a size 37

      37? No, I’m a 36!

      36!? Why if you wore size 36, your mangos would be so squished up you’d have constant migraines.

  • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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    712 months ago

    The average penis according to multiple studies is between 5.1" and 5.2" long erect. The average penis also grows up to five times in size when erect. I don’t think the problem posed in this article is something the average man needs to worry about.

    • @ChexMax
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      312 months ago

      This took me a second to understand (it’s 4AM) and for a second I was like wait, this cannot be correct. No one is walking around with a 25 inch penis. Then I got it

        • @[email protected]
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          72 months ago

          I don’t think so. Even with just 7 inches or so you’re starting to have to be careful with angles to avoid hurting your partner.

          • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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            82 months ago

            Plus sitting on those standard toilets, instead of the oblong ones starts becoming risky.

            • @[email protected]
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              12 months ago

              it doesn’t even take that much. I sit forward enough to not be shitting on the seat, but still get front contact if I don’t push it up or down depending if I need to piss or not. and that’s the low end of the average. ban all small toilets!

              • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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                12 months ago

                I’d heard people talking about this before and I was like “WTF? How big are these guys?”. But I had only ever had those really deep, oblong toilets. We moved into a house with standard toilets a few months ago and I was like “ooooh. Yeah, this sucks!”.

    • Victor
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      82 months ago

      So the average penis is about 1" flaccid?! That’s gotta be a global average. Not in my parts, I’ll tell you that. Not in the local gym showers at least (my only source of data).

        • @bitwaba
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          42 months ago

          Well that’s an easy enough equation to solve. Girth stays the same, length goes 1/5th.

          Beer Can Jim is just Tuna Can Jim if he’s not in the mood.

      • @[email protected]
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        52 months ago

        Some people are showers some people are growers, plus it’d be totally different if it was freezing cold in your gyms changing room

        • Victor
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          2 months ago

          Right, but average though? I find that absolutely incredible. It’s not like it’s freezing cold when people measure their penises either… Or is that part of the statistics, to make men feel better about themselves?

          I absolutely cannot believe the average flaccid-penis size is one goddamn inch, unless you maybe mix billions of Asians in the mix (no hate). Not from my own experiences. Regional average has to be higher in Western/Northern Europe. No way does anyone of the penises I’ve seen shrink below 1 inch. 😆

          • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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            2 months ago

            Like the other person said, 5x growth is overall, meaning length and girth. Some people grow more than others. The guys walking around without clothes at the gym are typically the more confident guys, meaning the guys who are more endowed. As someone who played sports for half his life, and was in the Army, I’ve seen a lot of dongs, and they’re all over the place. They seem to vary from 1/2" to the biggest I’ve ever seen which was an enormous 11" monster. The average flaccid just based on personal observation is 2-3 inches, so still not really something you need to worry about when getting your pants tailored. But if you’re a guy, then you know that your flaccid size varies greatly depending on a number of factors.

            • Victor
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              22 months ago

              5x growth is overall, meaning length and girth.

              Oh my god, of course. 😆 I’m so dumb. Right, that makes perfect sense then. God. Dad brain was kicking in hard, earlier. Thank you for that!

            • Victor
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              12 months ago

              the biggest I’ve ever seen which was an enormous 11" monster

              Just out of curiosity, how do you know it was 11"? 😅

              • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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                2 months ago

                Because he told me, and I told him he was full of shit, so he showed me without giving me any chance to protest.

                • Victor
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                  22 months ago

                  Jesus. What kind of person tells you the length of their dick, first of all, and second of all pulls it out to show you.

      • Decoy321M
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        152 months ago

        Wind it up like a spring

        • @FooBarrington
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          72 months ago

          If you bend the tip just right, it can act like a pogo stick

    • Lad
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      152 months ago

      I throw mine over my shoulder and wear it like an ammunition bandolier.

    • The Snark Urge
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      22 months ago

      KAKAROT!!!

      I saw this comment during a server update and couldn’t reply sooner

  • @[email protected]
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    322 months ago

    It’s not supposed to just sit there like an acorn attached to the bottom of my torso?

    • @mPony
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      22 months ago

      preferably two acorns

  • @[email protected]
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    172 months ago

    Around here tailors say, “which way do you hang” (or they used to, it’s been a while) and it’s because extra room is required in tailored pants. Generally junk at rest prefers one side to the other.

    • borZ0 the t1r3D b3aR
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      82 months ago

      It was, “Which side do you dress to?” around here. Especially if i was a woman doing the measurements for the tailoring.

  • @[email protected]
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    152 months ago

    Why in god’s name would you choose to put it down a leg‽ That shit will give you the worst rug burn imagineable if you happen to take your pants off too fast or fall in a split or just sit down on your pants in a weird way where they pull against you if you try to shift in the wrong way.

        • @SidewaysHighways
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          202 months ago

          Yeah that thing goes into fuckin STANBY MODE ME BOIIIIIII

      • @[email protected]
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        162 months ago

        Optimized for slapping it down on tables to assert dominance.

        HR doesn’t let me attend meetings with clients anymore…

        • @Noodle07
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          62 months ago

          Let’s all be honest, slapping in on a table is funny as fuck

        • Lemminary
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          52 months ago

          HR is too kind… to let you have a job.

      • @SkyezOpen
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        62 months ago

        Boxer briefs keep it nice and snug. Also the number of times I’ve twisted a fucking nut sleeping in boxers or naked… Ugh. Never again.

    • @Dasus
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      12 months ago

      Guess someone stole a part of your genitalia meant to protect a more sensitive part.

      Who would’ve guessed that mutilating children’s genitals can be harmful? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      • @[email protected]
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        22 months ago

        Chaffing doesn’t suddenly stop being chaffing because your sausage comes with a casing.

        • @Dasus
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          2 months ago

          Well my non-circumsized penis hangs out in my left pant leg and even without underwear, I’ve never had chaffing as an issue.

          Have you? Have you even an uncircumsized dick? Because, how would you know if you don’t?

          The only time that’s been even slightly an issue is when putting on pants without underwear just after sex, putting on jeans without underwear and while the foreskin was behind the glans and not on it. Which is when I’ll just grab my junk, roll the hood back down to cover most of the glans and then no chaffing.

          And if you don’t put your dick in your leg, where else would you?

  • Lad
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    142 months ago

    Please do touch my penis when measuring me

  • Jubei Kibagami
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    142 months ago

    It’s always up and in a karate stance, good sir.

  • @[email protected]
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    122 months ago

    I don’t understand the chart in this article about body type vs. underwear style. It doesn’t relate to the question that it’s located directly under, and it makes no attempt to explain why, for example, thin men shouldn’t wear boxers.

    I can’t tell if this article is AI generated or just rushed out by someone trying to meet a quota.

  • @OccamsRazer
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    122 months ago

    Interesting idea, because my boxer briefs support my balls in the middle, but my dress pants have one seam down the middle, so when I sit for prolonged periods I get a seam uncomfortably squishing my equipment. If instead the seam was always resting to one side or the other, I wouldn’t have that problem. To fix this, we should either have underwear that better accommodates a middle seam, or my preference would be pants with a built in pouch similar to underwear. It would accentuate the “bulge”, but we could get used to that.